Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
