Umm I'm too high to move.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
