omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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