apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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