Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
