yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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