There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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