we're blogging at a bar
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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