ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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