what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
