Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
is wine microwaveable?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
