Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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