I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
