I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
