Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
