He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
