Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
