I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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