The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
