she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
