question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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