Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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