So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
