What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
