she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
