He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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