we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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