...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
