You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
well you can't waste a boner
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize