and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Actions speak louder than pants.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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