Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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