I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize