the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
