he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
