if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
