i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
