really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
