I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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