Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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