I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
