I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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