After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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