just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
