I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
