he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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