she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
