oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize