I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
