When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
