I can't breathe out the right side of my face
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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