i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
