Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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