I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
