You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
