do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sext me about skeletons
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
