No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
