we have officially lost it.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
