But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Randomize
