This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
