The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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