I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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