I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
